“There’s no past, and there’s no future, all there is, ever, is the now.” – George Harrison.
Mindfulness can seem like something completely alien, especially if you suffer with anxiety or depression and struggle to get control of negative thought patterns. Let me start by saying that categorically, mindfulness changed my life. Mindfulness for me is a growing sacredness of myself, others and the earth. It’s noticing the richness of drops of dew on a blade of grass, it’s the soft pitter-patter of rain on the window or the aching of my own heart – in short, it’s practicing being present as much as possible. Mindfulness was the difference between me planning how I would end my life, and planning an exciting future and ultimately seeing that in every situation I have choices.
I struggled with a mental illness before and after I experienced domestic violence. For anyone reading this who has suffered a mental illness, it’s not an easy journey. In fact, at times it is soul destroying and exhausting. But it is possible to change, to cultivate a healthier mindset by taking it one step at a time. Asking for help from professions, peers or friends, sharing your vulnerabilities can be the first step. Change will happen with patience and eventually you can start to experience true happiness and see wonder in even the smallest of things. Those vulnerabilities and the things you see as your deepest flaws, are actually jewels of the soul that have the power to help you grow, learn, shift and change.
University can be a very daunting place, especially in today’s uncertain times. Well, what a great time to start contemplating the concept of uncertainty. Having a willingness to explore your own uncertainty can be so damn beautiful! It can be a doorway to creative expression that you never thought possible. All of our child lives we’re taught to be fearful of making mistakes. Having fear is an integral part of being human, but when your fear overtakes, it halts you from making any movement forward. Seeing failure as an opportunity for growth and learning is something I only just learnt when I started at Hull. Not seeing my academic failures as a mirror to my self worth was so important. It was the difference between being defensive and angry, to accepting constructive criticism and taking steps to improve my grades.
Life is similar – when you judge yourself critically on your body, your looks, or your grades, harmful thought patterns evolve. Before you know it your self esteem is getting worse, you turn to external sources to ‘fix’ your problems. Whereas when you grow awareness of the fact that you are not just your physical body, you’re not just your grades, or a pretty face. When you go deeper, you find it’s easier to be kind to yourself and show yourself the respect that you deserve.
I stopped being afraid to spend time alone; not only does this benefit gaining independence but also is so important to know what you stand for. What are your core beliefs and values? Spending time contemplating or meditating over such things allows you to get the answers that you may look for externally. Then you are free to stand in your truth with confidence. That being said, things that were your truth ten years ago, are no longer true for you now. Likewise in ten years from now, values and opinions you hold true may completely shift! Normalising failure and accepting that it is natural to change your mind is so important. Life is fluid, constantly flowing like a glistening stream. Sometimes the water ripples softly and sometimes the current seems too strong for us to bear! Wherever you’re at now in your life – whether your waves are crashing or whether the water seems still, this is the present moment here now, and you have the capacity to see that it is special and beautiful.
Your beliefs determine who you think you are, the level or respect you hold for yourself and what you think you are capable of. When we tell ourselves we can’t achieve something or if we are told this by others, we end up believing it and stay in our comfort zones. When we tell ourselves we have no limits to what we can achieve, our confidence, self worth and inner strength grow so sweetly! As a result we push ourselves, we try new things, we experience more of life. Usually, the heaviest burdens we carry are the thoughts in our head. Recognising and taking steps to change that is the key to a healthier, more positive life.
Often people say that they can’t shut off their mind to meditate. That is defeating the object. The goal is to acknowledge whatever thoughts are present, not to shut them off. By acknowledging the thoughts, the mind relaxes and in time infinitely provides blissful insight into your inner stillness. This can sometimes be difficult, so you might want to start with guided meditations. Please know that you are never alone and mental health charities and support groups exist and can help you when things seem too hard to cope with alone.
One more thing, university can be a great place for friendships, yet also it can be an easy place for clique’s to form. It’s so important to be aware of gossip culture. It’s natural for us as social animals to want to build teams and alliances around us. Awareness around bullying and judgements on other peers is something that is so important in building a better community. Judgements by others can heavily affect someone’s mental health. Critical thinking is essential for university, just be mindful that it stops outside the classroom. Every peer is on their own journey and learning things at their own pace, this flexibility and fluidity is important when considering judging others. You can’t control how others react, you can only control how you react to the things in your life. Having more compassion, an open heart and recognising differences as a blessing would make for a nicer learning environment.
Quick picks, my mindfulness must haves:
Sleep
Water
Nutrition
Meditation
Journaling
Gratitude
Seeking help
Learning
Setting boundaries
Self-talk
Connection
Digital detoxing
Movement
Sound healing
Energy healing
Music
Nature
Hobbies
Productivity
Creativity
Honesty
After experiencing hate and violence, I became attuned as an energy healer, instead of choosing to feel like a victim, I chose to live eternally from a place centred in love, strength, flow and connection. For me, there is no such thing as failure or loss. Just lessons, blessings and love pouring in through me and back into the universe to others.
Remember, the body doesn’t have the capacity to over think, only the mind does. So when the mind is heavy, shift your presence to the physical body. Massage the palm of your hand. Smell essential oils or walk barefoot on grass whilst giving attention to your feet. The more attention the body gets, the less the mind receives.
So with that in mind, I hope whatever practice, whether it’s yoga, tai chi, video games or listening to music. Whatever makes your heart swell with happiness and helps you connect to your mind, body and soul in that moment. May we all have just a little bit more self love and self belief. Changing the world is easier than you thought, and it starts with you.
Kirsty xo
Apps to download for mindfulness:
Insight timer
Calm
Headspace
Appy
Wim hof method
Websites:
https://www.humber.nhs.uk/Services/mental-health-response-service.htm
https://www.letstalkhull.co.uk/pages/need-urgent-support
Written by Kirsty Watts
The Grapevine 